blood, breaking up, feeling, loosing love, love, pain, poem, poems, poetry

The Dust of the Clouds

She’s crying tears of air, into dusty clouds.

And she’s wrapping pieces of herself, into bloody shrouds.

She thought for once, her smile might stay,

Hoped her happiness, would never go away.

But now again, the cycle ends, these things, they never stay.

She’s smiling, yes, the brightest of all, but is she really okay?

And she’s gullible, she knows she is, but now its become too much.

He’s only using her, for his own needs, for lust and sex and such.

And her ink, got spilled, and its dripping off the roof.

Now theres no way to catch it, from its bitter truth.

And her hands they tremble, her eyes, they cry,

About a love she never got, but she doesn’t understand why.

And he’s stabbing her, she’s nothing to him, she never ever was.

She danced the most beautiful of her dances, but never got applause.

She loved him like no other, got caught in his trap,

She knew he was trouble, was waiting for the string to snap.

And she’s laying on the floor, bare, and bleeds. 

“So this is where the path of love, I guess, leads.”

“This is what happens when for this one time,”

“I unveil my full self, what a crime.”

And no one is sweeping her red ink away,

None can help her, this red ink will leave its mark and always stay.

And as the dusty clouds slowly fade into the dark,

Her tears haven’t left one single mark.

The only one, who ever pained, was she.

And the only one who every drowned in the sea,

Was her. And her stains of blood will never leave.

And so will her anger, sadness, sorrow and grieve.

And now she’s truly alone.

She’s lost,

In the dust of the clouds.

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feelings, friendship, help the world, insanity, loosing, pain, past, poem, poems, poetry, world

Help the world be a little more okay.

I think I’m losing my mind.

Im officially going insane.

All I do, is cause others pain. 

I remember when I was just a child,

I was the one who always smiled.

And all I wanted, was the happiness of others.

All I wanted, was for everyone to forget their troubles.

And I remember, how I used to cry,

When someone I never knew, passed me with a black eye.

And I used to think and say,

“Im just a little girl, who will help the world, to be a little more okay.”

And look at what I am today.

Someone who can’t keep friends, because they always break away.

And look what I am a now.

My friends end up falling in love with me, but I don’t know how.

There are things in my past, that can’t let me love.

Love is something that has to quickly get disposed of,

In my little messed up world.

But it always ends in a way, 

That makes me want my friends to stay away.

And it somehow always happens,

They can not keep a balance.

They want more.

More than I can give them.

And then they are heartbroken. 

And I see them cry, and sob.

And the only way for them to stop,

Is to forget me.

So I end up becoming nothing.

Nothing but a far fetched memory of the dark past.

And the meaning of what I wanted to be, melts away.

Even though the only thing I wanted to be, was “just a little girl, who will help the world, to be a little more okay.”

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end, faith, feelings, lies, life, love, love and hate, manipulate, messing up, mind, mistakes, mood, pain, poem, poems, poertry, poetry, pray, relationships, sad

never stay

I just thought that for once I had a friend who’d actually stay.

I guess I just hoped that you’d be the one, who’d never go away. 

It’s so hard for me to give away my trust,

But it always ends up getting lost in lust.

And he says its my fault, I was “leading him on,”

That he had to “fight jealousy until it was fucking gone. ”

I guess I just thought that this one time,

Our friendship would stay strong like a dime.

But I should’ve known, that it would only end bad.

That it would end exactly the same, like all the other friendships I ever had.

What am I doing wrong? I don’t get how,

Caring for a person and just being there, was leading him on and now,

He’s gone forever.

He thinks he’s so special, but he’s not.

With this one action, he has just become one of a lot.

And it makes me cry,

That no matter how hard I try,

It’s always wrong.

That even though I always tell them to beware in the very beginning,

They end up falling into that exact trap, and say I’m the one sinning.

I tell them as a friend,

All the horrible stories of what happens, when my heart is lend.

But they never listen.

I told you, in these exact words,

“I break hearts, and burn souls without knowing,

So don’t you ever love me, or you’ll be the next one going.”

Please don’t love me, please don’t love me.

I will hurt you and you’ll slowly die.

And yes that’s a reason why I constantly lie.

And you know I am heartless.

You know my feelings are barely to non existent.

But you also know that I deeply care for you.

And now you’ll just go away, for ever.

I guess it had to be now or never.

And you don’t believe me when I said I cared for you,

You just think I’m a steel, cold, hearted bitch.

That you wasted all your time on “nothing.”

And that’s when it hit me,

I was always nothing, always.

It’s just sad how every friend I ever get,

Can only define “everything” by abusing me and getting me into bed.

And that every friend I thought I made,

Will sooner or later disappear in the shade. 

And somehow, it’s always connected to me and how they fall in love.

Only because I was being, well, just me.

So now I’m all alone again, 

Maybe it should just stay that way.

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blood, gloomy, pain, poem, poems, poetry, rain, red, scary

Red Rain

I watch you quietly sit in frosty late night showers of rain,

I cant yet decipher what it is, but in your eyes, I see pain.

Shelter is around you, yet you choose to stay in the cold, why?

Crystal droplets run down your face in streams, so I cant see you cry.

Her soaked hair is clinging to her fair skin,

Trying to hide away her eyes, hide all the bad that has been.

She’s whispering words into the clouds of rain,

They slowly fade away, and she hopes, so will her pain.

“Wash it all away and set me free!” She cries.

“Wash it all away!” She screams into the skies.

Puddles beneath soak in a dark tint of warmth, her only warmth left.

Its slowly dyeing her white long dress,

Making its way down,

Fading into the ground.

Metallic clattering of death, drops onto the ground,

Its her dagger, laying there in bloody puddles, hoping to get drowned.

Not even the biggest amount of rain can wash away,

This scene, the amount of blood might go but the feeling that something strange happened here, will always stay.

All I can do is watch you die and suffocate beneath a wall of water.

The wall is thin, but it seems so much stronger.

I reach out my hand but she denies its gonna help her at all,

So I watch her die, slowly, the only thing holding us apart is her emotional brick wall,

Not even the rain can wash away this.

Not even the rain.

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