end, faith, feelings, lies, life, love, love and hate, manipulate, messing up, mind, mistakes, mood, pain, poem, poems, poertry, poetry, pray, relationships, sad

never stay

I just thought that for once I had a friend who’d actually stay.

I guess I just hoped that you’d be the one, who’d never go away. 

It’s so hard for me to give away my trust,

But it always ends up getting lost in lust.

And he says its my fault, I was “leading him on,”

That he had to “fight jealousy until it was fucking gone. ”

I guess I just thought that this one time,

Our friendship would stay strong like a dime.

But I should’ve known, that it would only end bad.

That it would end exactly the same, like all the other friendships I ever had.

What am I doing wrong? I don’t get how,

Caring for a person and just being there, was leading him on and now,

He’s gone forever.

He thinks he’s so special, but he’s not.

With this one action, he has just become one of a lot.

And it makes me cry,

That no matter how hard I try,

It’s always wrong.

That even though I always tell them to beware in the very beginning,

They end up falling into that exact trap, and say I’m the one sinning.

I tell them as a friend,

All the horrible stories of what happens, when my heart is lend.

But they never listen.

I told you, in these exact words,

“I break hearts, and burn souls without knowing,

So don’t you ever love me, or you’ll be the next one going.”

Please don’t love me, please don’t love me.

I will hurt you and you’ll slowly die.

And yes that’s a reason why I constantly lie.

And you know I am heartless.

You know my feelings are barely to non existent.

But you also know that I deeply care for you.

And now you’ll just go away, for ever.

I guess it had to be now or never.

And you don’t believe me when I said I cared for you,

You just think I’m a steel, cold, hearted bitch.

That you wasted all your time on “nothing.”

And that’s when it hit me,

I was always nothing, always.

It’s just sad how every friend I ever get,

Can only define “everything” by abusing me and getting me into bed.

And that every friend I thought I made,

Will sooner or later disappear in the shade. 

And somehow, it’s always connected to me and how they fall in love.

Only because I was being, well, just me.

So now I’m all alone again, 

Maybe it should just stay that way.

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contrast, life, live, love, mind, mood, motivational, poems, poetry, robot, strange

Generation Dead

What happened to life and living?
What happened to caring, not taking but giving?
Has our society really come this far?
That the only movement of people is from their bed to the kitchen to the car?
What happened to friendly talks with strangers by the sea side?
Why are people turning so weirdly antisocial, alone, like they have something to hide?
This generation is fast and never stops,
There’s barley time anymore to enjoy life’s little pleasures, it’s like we’re constantly being watched by cops!
But is it really just that?
At the same time we are getting lazy, boring, fat.
Kids at the age of 5 getting their phones,
When I was their age, I was playing with sticks and stones.
Walk through the hallways of a school and what you’ll see,
Is dozens of 1st graders sitting on their computers whilst outside its nice and sunny.
What happened to imagination?
What happened to childhoods of jumping around in mud, a time of fun, failure and creation.
A family who only sees each other for dinner,
Sits down but there it is, the ring of the sinner.
Dad jumps up and leaves for the call,
The children don’t seem to like this at all.
Our world is always evolving, I get that,
Of course we can’t stay back in time, go back to the times we thought our world was flat.
But what we can do,
Is take a deep breath stop thinking less about the me, I myself, you.
Turn off that phone every now and then,
Don’t let your children waste their lives in a virtual world of loneliness.
Let them be creative, hand them a piece of paper and a pen.
Don’t make them fall asleep in front of the TV, tell them stories of Spider-Man, the monster of Loch Ness !
Don’t let them evolve into imagination less wrecks with squared vision,
Let them be creative, give them a goal, a mission!
And this is what our Generation has come to,
Efficiency at the cost of the quality of life and what we like to do.

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dark, Death, feelings, goomy, life, mood, poem, poems, poetry, positive vs negative, sad, scary

When my day comes

When my day comes,
The day that all left of me will be my souls crumbs ,
And my color fades away,
I have one request, if I may.
Don’t lock me in a box and burry me deep under.
Why? You might wonder.
Well, Reaching the end of my days,
I will sink into darkness, say goodbye to my life lived in color and craze.
So Don’t just burry me in the ground.
It’s so dark and cold down there, nothing beautiful to be found.
Ill just be another set of rusty bones locked away
From society to forget, not to remember, my memory will get lost, no one will pray.
A long lost soul caught in a box beneath the ground,
This scares me, I’ll be locked in the darkness never to be thought of, or found.
I know one day all my memories will fade and I’ve come to terms with that,
But to be buried in cold soil of sorrow will make my soul crave light, want to come out of the colorless matte.
Instead sprinkle me on forests of green,
So I can feel lights beam.
Sprinkle some in the waters of the ocean,
So I can be one with waves emotion.
Let my colors fly free,
I might be gone on earth, but my colors will be able to fly free spiritually.
Just don’t lock me in the dark,
Don’t do that to me,
Leave my soul the Beauty of this world, let it flow free.

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change, cold hearted, dangerous, dark, goomy, mood, poem, poems, poetry, positive vs negative

No one can read me, not even you.

No one can read me, not even you.

No one can see me, so whatever you see, you should think through.

My eyes are blank and my heart is cold, they say.

And feelings are nothing but the mixture of colours on the floor in fall, all swept away.

You might not know, but whilst Im smiling, Im dying inside.

You might not notice, but when I tell you Im fine, that is just another night I cried.

You dont know my past, I dont expect you to.

No one knows my past, no one, not even you.

You dont know me, I know you dont.

You dont know me, you can try to find out, but I cant let you, I wont.

How can you act the way you do, when Im supposed to be the one in distress?

How can you throw me away and believe I dont notice?

Ive been thrown away before, and with every time, I get more numb.

And now look at me, look at what Ive become.

Ive become someone no one knows, not even you.

So whatever you do to me, you should think through.

You may know my passions in life, but my not my past,

Which still dwells over me, its been some time, but time runs fast.

My skin burns everyday,

But since no one knows, you still treat me like trash, I pay.

Stop please, just stop. I cry under water to make it seem like its nothing.

The tears mix with the salt water, but dont you see Im drowning?

Im locked in a prison cell, bound down with ice cold chains.

Stop please, just stop. My mask will fall off from the tears.

And I will have to face my biggest fears.

Give me a hug, I need it now.

Force me if I refuse. Even if I dont allow.

Give my little heart some warmth, I need it.

You dont know me, but you can try,

To give me a smile, and make the bad fly.

No one can read me, not even you.

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gloomy, hate, life, love, love and hate, mood, poem, poems, poetry, positive vs negative, short stories, short story, story

Pure bitter, Ice cold Heart

You talk to her and you feel,

This sudden warmth, you feel alive, real.

Eyes as glimmering green as emerald, shining in the morning sun,

Studying your lips, giving you that glimpse, it will stay in your mind forever, cant be undone.

You feel your heart melting like vanilla ice cream on the hottest of summer days,

You ask yourself how all that could happen by just her gaze?

You feel you’re the only one, the chosen. She has chosen you!

Oh darling, if only you knew.

If only you knew the things she’s got in her mind about you, you`d run.

But what would be the fun in you gone?

She’s playing with your heart, haven`t you noticed?

Its challenging, especially when you`re so focused

On her eyes, theres something magical about them, or is there?

They are slowly penetrating your chest, your heart is at its weakest now.

And all it took was a couple of seconds for her to get there… how?

She knows how to play this game,

For every victim its more or less, the same!

Make them feel loved and forget all the pain,

and weaken their hearts to their most vulnerable state.

In the beginnings they never notice, only little clues.

She smiles when you’re in pain, seems to be amused.

You touching her hand,

Its cold, like nighttime frozen sand.

You kiss and her eyes are open,

She wants your pain, wants to see you broken.

But she’s made you blind to all this, you are hooked and she is your drug.

You long for more and more, with every touch, kiss, even hug.

You want to run your fingers through her luscious hair,

Go through life with her without a care,

You want to be together, exist as two,

Let nothing ever separate you.

But just when you have been glued to her soul,

And you’re ever so close to reaching your goal,

And you stand  on a cliff, its beautiful.

The blue moon is shining and everything seems as usual.

You dont notice the drop, you’re so close now, she can almost taste it.

And darling you, still believe both you you will never split.

She looks at you one last time.

She seems so beautiful now, so sublime.

And all it takes is a small push.

For you to fall and rip your heart from hers.

It hurts, like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.

But to her, it was nothing but a chore, as you hit the floor.

You cry yourself to sleep and seem to think that she is too,

You were in love with her, so mustn`t she be in love with you?

I hate to disappoint, but you’ve missed, that even though you thought her heart was made of gold,

Her heart is just pure, bitter, ice, cold.

And all it needs to live, is others pain.

And now you stand here alone, in the rain.

Too bad her feelings are gone and she doesn’t care,

And this chain reaction all started with just, one glare.

Her heart is made of ice.

And every new soul she catches, has to pay a price.

So congratulations, you’re one of them.

Your life-long pain

Will feed her bitter heart, as you are nothing to her, but her daily champagne.

If only you knew her heart wasn’t made out of gold,

But that it was pure bitter, ice cold.

You might have lived.

Might.

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end, gloomy, love, mood, poem, poems, poetry

Afraid to love

Afraid to love.

Afraid, because I know it will end.

Afraid, because I know you will cry.

Afraid, because I know you will try,

Try to get me back, but I will deny.

Afraid to love.

Afraid all the memories made will be lost,

And Afraid that my cold heartedness will come at a cost.

Afraid not only because you will cry,

But also I.

Afraid to love.

Afraid to have your picture in my head, to know you were good,

And for me to slowly burn it in front of you, to be misunderstood.

Im afraid that you will stop all contact,

First it was love, then it will turn into the opposite and contrast.

Afraid to love.

Afraid to hand over my trust only for it to be destroyed like numerous times before,

Afraid for our love to become a chore.

A heavy chain that only brings me down,

Afraid our love will make me frown.

Afraid to love.

Afraid for my glass wall to slowly crumble down.

Afraid to slowly drown.

Afraid to drown in something I dont want to do,

But Ill do it, because its, well, you.

Afraid to love.

Afraid for a future that is close by,

Afraid to see you slowly die.

Afraid because its a race against time,

Afraid our love will be nothing but a crime.

Afraid to love.

Im afraid, but I still do.

I am still madly in love with you.

Still.

But I feel it will go downhill.

And I fear for that.

Afraid to love, I say.

Dont misunderstand me, I want the love to stay.

But I know it wont stay for a long time.

Our tunes wont stay in chime.

I will burn your heart into pieces, and Ill have to watch, but I cant.

Afraid to love.

Ive decided to enjoy the time we have.

But it stays in the back of my head, always.

That Im afraid, for the near end.

For me to lose my trust, lover, and best friend.

Afraid to love.

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dark, gloomy, mood, poem, poems, poetry

Gone

I loved her and she disappeared into snow.

Leave me standing alone, disappear with the flow.

Your words do hurt me,

I know you know,

But why leave me standing alone, in the snow?

It is cold and all warmth fades,

From a once so strong love, someone who was always there in aid.

She was the one I wanted to be,

Yes, she used to be a big part of me.

But years didn’t wait for me to see,

That this is not who I want to be.

Bring me down with your sharp words,

And use them cut me deep,

Whip me with them for me to cry myself to sleep.

Every

Single

Day

She seems to confident in her doings,

Like its something missing in her, she has to replace.

Every time she cuts a part of me, no tears run down her face.

Her emotions are gone and all she takes to live,

Is others pain, to take and never to give.

But I still love her, no matter what.

No matter how many words she throws at me to cut,

Is just another little part of me that dies inside.

She doesn’t care, keeps her head up with pride.

And still they expect me to say,

I love you, no matter what.

No matter what you do, say, act.

But let me tell you, that even though I do, your doings will always remain fact.

And now I stand alone in the red tinted snow.

And they expect me to say,

I love you.

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