end, faith, feelings, lies, life, love, love and hate, manipulate, messing up, mind, mistakes, mood, pain, poem, poems, poertry, poetry, pray, relationships, sad

never stay

I just thought that for once I had a friend who’d actually stay.

I guess I just hoped that you’d be the one, who’d never go away. 

It’s so hard for me to give away my trust,

But it always ends up getting lost in lust.

And he says its my fault, I was “leading him on,”

That he had to “fight jealousy until it was fucking gone. ”

I guess I just thought that this one time,

Our friendship would stay strong like a dime.

But I should’ve known, that it would only end bad.

That it would end exactly the same, like all the other friendships I ever had.

What am I doing wrong? I don’t get how,

Caring for a person and just being there, was leading him on and now,

He’s gone forever.

He thinks he’s so special, but he’s not.

With this one action, he has just become one of a lot.

And it makes me cry,

That no matter how hard I try,

It’s always wrong.

That even though I always tell them to beware in the very beginning,

They end up falling into that exact trap, and say I’m the one sinning.

I tell them as a friend,

All the horrible stories of what happens, when my heart is lend.

But they never listen.

I told you, in these exact words,

“I break hearts, and burn souls without knowing,

So don’t you ever love me, or you’ll be the next one going.”

Please don’t love me, please don’t love me.

I will hurt you and you’ll slowly die.

And yes that’s a reason why I constantly lie.

And you know I am heartless.

You know my feelings are barely to non existent.

But you also know that I deeply care for you.

And now you’ll just go away, for ever.

I guess it had to be now or never.

And you don’t believe me when I said I cared for you,

You just think I’m a steel, cold, hearted bitch.

That you wasted all your time on “nothing.”

And that’s when it hit me,

I was always nothing, always.

It’s just sad how every friend I ever get,

Can only define “everything” by abusing me and getting me into bed.

And that every friend I thought I made,

Will sooner or later disappear in the shade. 

And somehow, it’s always connected to me and how they fall in love.

Only because I was being, well, just me.

So now I’m all alone again, 

Maybe it should just stay that way.

blood, dangerous, dark, manipulate, poem, poems, poetry

Sneaky Smiles

She had that smile that would make you feel,
Absolutely Complete, melt even the coldest hearts of steel,
And she would have those certain looks
That you’d only read about in story books.
She would take your hand and walk through life,
And you fool never noticed behind her back, she was hiding a knife, 
You were too hypnotized by flawless moments,
Too taken to realize, she would soon be your opponent.
She would soon strike,
And if she’d have mercy, she’d make it fast, avoid the fight.
But don’t you worry dear,
As long as your mind is cloudy and you’re thinking isn’t clear,
She will spare your life and if you’re lucky she’ll disappear,
Leaving behind, he usual stab wounds and you’d be able to track
Her tracks of blood all from the knifes blood she was hiding behind her back.
And as your inner colors would slowly drain away,
You’d notice, that you were only her prey.
away, manipulate, poem, poems, poetry, psychotic, throw

Get Rid of You

I have thought this through.

I want to get rid of you.

I will make you scream in pain,

And make you suffer, make you insane.

I will destroy you physically and mentally,

And manipulate you until there’s no going back.

You better leave soon, sweetie.

Or it will be me, who has to attack.

Get your hopes away from me.

Once you’ve reached the point of being unable to do that, you’ll never be free.

If you cant leave, get used to tears and crying.

Get used to giving up on trying.

Get used to pain.

Get used to the real me,

And I swear, that, you wouldn’t want to see.