I just thought that for once I had a friend who’d actually stay.
I guess I just hoped that you’d be the one, who’d never go away.
It’s so hard for me to give away my trust,
But it always ends up getting lost in lust.
And he says its my fault, I was “leading him on,”
That he had to “fight jealousy until it was fucking gone. ”
I guess I just thought that this one time,
Our friendship would stay strong like a dime.
But I should’ve known, that it would only end bad.
That it would end exactly the same, like all the other friendships I ever had.
What am I doing wrong? I don’t get how,
Caring for a person and just being there, was leading him on and now,
He’s gone forever.
He thinks he’s so special, but he’s not.
With this one action, he has just become one of a lot.
And it makes me cry,
That no matter how hard I try,
It’s always wrong.
That even though I always tell them to beware in the very beginning,
They end up falling into that exact trap, and say I’m the one sinning.
I tell them as a friend,
All the horrible stories of what happens, when my heart is lend.
But they never listen.
I told you, in these exact words,
“I break hearts, and burn souls without knowing,
So don’t you ever love me, or you’ll be the next one going.”
Please don’t love me, please don’t love me.
I will hurt you and you’ll slowly die.
And yes that’s a reason why I constantly lie.
And you know I am heartless.
You know my feelings are barely to non existent.
But you also know that I deeply care for you.
And now you’ll just go away, for ever.
I guess it had to be now or never.
And you don’t believe me when I said I cared for you,
You just think I’m a steel, cold, hearted bitch.
That you wasted all your time on “nothing.”
And that’s when it hit me,
I was always nothing, always.
It’s just sad how every friend I ever get,
Can only define “everything” by abusing me and getting me into bed.
And that every friend I thought I made,
Will sooner or later disappear in the shade.
And somehow, it’s always connected to me and how they fall in love.
Only because I was being, well, just me.
So now I’m all alone again,
Maybe it should just stay that way.