end, faith, feelings, lies, life, love, love and hate, manipulate, messing up, mind, mistakes, mood, pain, poem, poems, poertry, poetry, pray, relationships, sad

never stay

I just thought that for once I had a friend who’d actually stay.

I guess I just hoped that you’d be the one, who’d never go away. 

It’s so hard for me to give away my trust,

But it always ends up getting lost in lust.

And he says its my fault, I was “leading him on,”

That he had to “fight jealousy until it was fucking gone. ”

I guess I just thought that this one time,

Our friendship would stay strong like a dime.

But I should’ve known, that it would only end bad.

That it would end exactly the same, like all the other friendships I ever had.

What am I doing wrong? I don’t get how,

Caring for a person and just being there, was leading him on and now,

He’s gone forever.

He thinks he’s so special, but he’s not.

With this one action, he has just become one of a lot.

And it makes me cry,

That no matter how hard I try,

It’s always wrong.

That even though I always tell them to beware in the very beginning,

They end up falling into that exact trap, and say I’m the one sinning.

I tell them as a friend,

All the horrible stories of what happens, when my heart is lend.

But they never listen.

I told you, in these exact words,

“I break hearts, and burn souls without knowing,

So don’t you ever love me, or you’ll be the next one going.”

Please don’t love me, please don’t love me.

I will hurt you and you’ll slowly die.

And yes that’s a reason why I constantly lie.

And you know I am heartless.

You know my feelings are barely to non existent.

But you also know that I deeply care for you.

And now you’ll just go away, for ever.

I guess it had to be now or never.

And you don’t believe me when I said I cared for you,

You just think I’m a steel, cold, hearted bitch.

That you wasted all your time on “nothing.”

And that’s when it hit me,

I was always nothing, always.

It’s just sad how every friend I ever get,

Can only define “everything” by abusing me and getting me into bed.

And that every friend I thought I made,

Will sooner or later disappear in the shade. 

And somehow, it’s always connected to me and how they fall in love.

Only because I was being, well, just me.

So now I’m all alone again, 

Maybe it should just stay that way.

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blood, change, dramatic, end, family, feeling, feelings, letting go, love, motivational, poem, poems, poetry, positive vs negative, problems

Let my Hand Go

Let my hand go,

Let me disappear into red tinted snow.

Can’t you see I have feelings too?

Can’t you understand I have to let you go, because I love you?

I know it’s harsh and hardly sane,

But this is how I deal with pain.

How am I ever going to find my guiding light,

If you keep me hidden away at night? 

Please don’t cry, please don’t cry,

I know it’s hard to break the bond of you and I.

it was always us two, 

You know me, and I know you.

Two cold hearts unite to an uncomprehendable to most friendship,

We never cried, until this whole story took a flip.

And now we have no choice but to be teared apart,

And we wish we could play our story from the start.

But don’t you realize we have to move on?

The world keeps spinning, and our hearts will stay as one.

And every night before you go to sleep, 

Look at the moon, and sky’s stars so deep.

Remember my tunes in your times of sadness, 

Or forget me if it can cure your madness.

Just what matters the most to me,

Is your happiness, don’t you see?

So after you let go of my hand,

Wherever you gotta go, whatever you gotta do,

Just remember that I’ll always be in your heart, and I’ll always love you. 

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end, gloomy, love, mood, poem, poems, poetry

Afraid to love

Afraid to love.

Afraid, because I know it will end.

Afraid, because I know you will cry.

Afraid, because I know you will try,

Try to get me back, but I will deny.

Afraid to love.

Afraid all the memories made will be lost,

And Afraid that my cold heartedness will come at a cost.

Afraid not only because you will cry,

But also I.

Afraid to love.

Afraid to have your picture in my head, to know you were good,

And for me to slowly burn it in front of you, to be misunderstood.

Im afraid that you will stop all contact,

First it was love, then it will turn into the opposite and contrast.

Afraid to love.

Afraid to hand over my trust only for it to be destroyed like numerous times before,

Afraid for our love to become a chore.

A heavy chain that only brings me down,

Afraid our love will make me frown.

Afraid to love.

Afraid for my glass wall to slowly crumble down.

Afraid to slowly drown.

Afraid to drown in something I dont want to do,

But Ill do it, because its, well, you.

Afraid to love.

Afraid for a future that is close by,

Afraid to see you slowly die.

Afraid because its a race against time,

Afraid our love will be nothing but a crime.

Afraid to love.

Im afraid, but I still do.

I am still madly in love with you.

Still.

But I feel it will go downhill.

And I fear for that.

Afraid to love, I say.

Dont misunderstand me, I want the love to stay.

But I know it wont stay for a long time.

Our tunes wont stay in chime.

I will burn your heart into pieces, and Ill have to watch, but I cant.

Afraid to love.

Ive decided to enjoy the time we have.

But it stays in the back of my head, always.

That Im afraid, for the near end.

For me to lose my trust, lover, and best friend.

Afraid to love.

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