Ever since I can remember, Ive been battling with waves,
Waves that would crush me unexpectedly under their immense weight,
Little harmless droplets uniting into one big mass,
And swallow me whole,
Into a fluid, dark world of lies that would try its best to absorb me.
This world would whisper me things,
That Im not worth it,
That I should hate myself,
That I should stop trying,
And made me tremble in immense fear.
They tried to drown me,
And as my lungs slowly filled up with water,
I started to believe them.
My life had moments of agony and pain,
That I suffered in silence.
No-one would hear me,
And when I tried to scream, I would just drown faster,
Feel the burning pain of every droplet filling my lungs.
It was a silent way of dying, not the type you read in stories,
But it hurt, and left scars.
No-one ever noticed, but me.
But today is the day, that I decided that Ive had enough.
Ive had enough of eternal suffering,
Pretending to be someone Im not,
Ive had enough of nights floating like a carcass beneath their surface.
Because Ive realized, Im so much more, no matter what they tell me.
Im capable of so much more than dwelling in pain and suffering.
No matter what others try to make me believe, no matter what thoughts dwell beneath those waves,
I will no longer listen to them.
I am my own person.
I am who I want to be, and I will openly show it.
Everyone can watch, there is no shame in being imperfect,
And as imperfect as I am, I love who I am.
It took me years just to realize just that.
I am worth it.
And Ive learned to surf the waves that once crushed me.
I now feel pure freedom as the wind blows against my skin,
And Im in absolute control of the waves,
Im in absolute control of my own destiny,
And Im at peace with myself and who I am.
It feels liberating to finally be breathing and who Ive always wanted to be,
Im imperfect, but thats okay, Im just me, and Im okay with that.