day, night, night and day

The Search of Light

Where is the light Ive always searched for?

Where is the light, so coruscant and illuminating,

That when you’d find it, 

Every worry would kindle to dust.

And every tear would evaporate away into resplendent beams.

Where is the light Ive always craved?

That would comfort me, from my birth, to my grave?

That would encase me in its limpid vapour,

And enchant me in its flaming nature?

Every night, Id search for the moon glistening on the dark blue ocean,

Every night, Id search for someone to show me some emotion.

But the forest remained obsidian black, pine resin cloaking its dense complexion.

And the moonless nights, were far from my craved perfection.

My days started getting obliterated more, with every rapidly falling night.

And as the scorching heat would surrender everyday to the onshore breeze,

I would start to crave this light.

But it would never appear, Id just sit alone.

Surrendering to the charcoal shadows, as they would absorb into my bone.

I would dream of miniature hand cut snow kisses falling from the stars,

So pure and lucent,

That every thought of my day, would be taken away.

“Where is the light Ive always searched for?

Where is the light, so coruscant and illuminating,

That when you’d find it, 

Every worry would kindle to dust?”- Id say.

As gradually all my darkness, started composing my days.

And with every new shadow, even simplicity, would turn into a maze.

And flames would rip their way through even the most beautiful of smiles, tendrils of smoke reaching desperately into the sky.

And now look at me, as here I lie.

The fire eddying my body in the late fall air like the perfect strokes of an artist.

Look at my eyes and what they’ve become,

Their dark beauty lost to the victim of every new night.

So here I lay, engulfed in my dull carved out little world of clay.

But still, every night before shadows absorb my soul,

I search for the light of the day.

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poetry

Stupid Little Girl

Stupid little girl

Standing still

Words caught in her throat.

Stupid little girl,

All alone,

Lost in all the words, she never wrote.

“Stupid little girl you are”, 

She always said.

“Why do you whine about, 

Everyday before you go to bed?”

“Stupid little girl.”

She’d say.

She would cut my veins, then beg me to stay.

“Stupid little girl,”

“You ugly little creature,”

“Don’t you know I love you?”

“Stupid little girl,”

She would scream,

And Id just try to block her out and dream.

And she would still have the guts,

To say,

“Stupid Little girl, I hate you, but don’t go away”

“Stupid little girl, you’re worthless, stop crying.”

“Stupid little girl, why aren’t you even trying?”

“Stupid little girl, disappear into the sky.”

“Stupid little girl, why do you always ask why?”

And thats what she became. 

A stupid, little, ugly, girl. 

Caught alone, in this oh so lonely world.

Stupid little girl.

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