falling in love, love, poem, poetry

I want your love

How was he able to soften my heart of ice?

I thought I was just a floating carcass made of stone and lies…

But I knew from day one, when I got lost in his eyes,

That with him, my flesh will soften and feelings will rise.

You are the most beautiful of sunsets I have ever seen,

You’re my drug, my smile, my daily caffeine.

And I long for you to hold me tight, every day.

Im somehow not able to throw my thoughts away.

You’re always on my mind.

You’re everything I ever wanted to find.

And I want you to hold me in your arms,

And kiss my head like you did that one day,

You thought I was asleep, kissed my cheek,

And since that day, that moment has been on replay.

I love who you are, your heart, how you care.

How you get me, and how you’re always there.

But if he loves me, I don’t know.

Maybe Im going to fast and he wants to take it slow.

Or maybe he’s just scared? 

Maybe his heart is unprepared?

I have no clue.

All I know, and feel, is that I really want to be with you.

And Im hooked, you’re my drug, please don’t go away.

Please don’t let my freshly warmed soul slowly freeze and decay.

I want to feel your touch, and hear your voice.

I want to be your choice.

I want to give you everything I have, and make you smile,

Make every moment together worth while.

I want your love.

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away, comfort, far, friendship

Im far away

Oh I wish I could make you happy,

But Im far away.

I wish I could fly across the globe,

In the blink of an eye, every day.

And hold you tight and tell you,

“Its fine, you’ll be okay.”

I would pack only colours vibrant and bright,

And take home all the deepest darkness of your constant night.

And we would dance and sing,

Id do anything, for you to again hear lives sweet ring.

And Id love to know that you’re finally again happy inside,

And to know the dark part of you died.

But I can’t. 

I can’t come to comfort you,

And hold you tight and tell you everything will be ok.

I can’t bring with me the bright colours of the most beautiful day.

All I can do is stay.

And watch you slowly decay,

Into the night of your day.

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poetry

Heart of Snow

Oh how much it hurts, they’ll never ever know,

Their words fall down like daggers, cutting through my soul of snow.

This dagger, a stable metal construct, has no problem slicing its way through my delicately balanced complexion.

My soul stands tall and proud, but its far away from perfection.

My outside’s made of ice, my heart is made of snow,

And once you break that wall, theres no beauty, no golden glow.

Just a little snowflake heart, with its beautifully designed structure,

But this little snowflake is easy to break, it can easily rupture.

You either feed it with affection, handle it with great care,

Or slice it in half, until you’d never know, its even ever been there.

And your words do hurt me, I know you know.

Every day you slowly melt away, my heart of vulnerable snow.

I know you like to watch me,

Go crazy for days and nights.

And watch me silently cry tears of ice,

Washed away in a see of city lights.

And watch me pretend like its something else,

Even when both of us knew,

That the only source of my madness,

Was.

Always.

You.

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poetry

Hummingbirds that dont Sing

She’s been in the dark for way too long,

Trapped in a cage, a hummingbird will forget their humming song.

Every single touch, burns into her skin,

And her tears leave salt traces down her cheeks, to her chin.

She’s been in the dark for way too long.

Forgot what it was like to be independent and  strong.

She’s just a brittle rose,

With the most beautiful red, but she’s weak, and it shows.

That is until she found you,

“Save me, save me.” she whispers when she goes to sleep.

She wished you knew.

That she’s afraid of love, and sticking together like glue.

So treat her like silk in the hands of a weaver,

Every move counts.

And teach her again to love,

Its okay to mess up, to mispronounce.

Show her the kinds of touches that send pleasant shivers down her spine,

Show her your love, dig for her smiles, see her shine.

Appreciate her small steps out of her cage, 

Realise that everything about her, is divine. 

Trapped in a cage, hummingbirds will forget their humming song,

So free her instead, and the rest won’t take long.

This brittle rose will soon stand proud and tall,

And she’ll love you like no other, shell be your doll.

She’ll sing her tunes into blue skies,

In harmony with the blue of her puppy dog eyes.

So go on, take the challenge of the climb,

It’ll take some time.

But in the end,

Everything will be sublime.

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poetry

A lifeless ragdoll.

Im a psychopath, but do they know? No.

Uncaring. Untameable. A lifeless ragdoll. The list goes on..

But they never noticed I had all that PLUS a pretty face I put on.

Every day I smile, I laugh, I live.

I tell them I care, when they cry.

And I pretend to have sorrow, for “angels we lost”, now in the sky.

But let me tell you a little secret, I don’t give one single shit.

Sometimes I do wonder, what it would feel like to love, not for lust, but real love.

How its like to fall for someone by just the blink of an eye,

And how a single touch of lips, would make me fly.

But nothing. Its like my heart is sealed with insoluble glue.

And my mind is driven by lust for my newest blood fondue.

I want to make you suffer, even though I tell you not.

I want to see your eyes flame up with fear,

And watch you cry every single tear.

I love to control you, you are mine.

So don’t you ever get off my given line.

And I love the feeling I get from discovering your mental anatomy,

Attack you weak points and destroy you by catastrophe.

Thats just how I tick, my happiness, me. 

Quite sad I suppose.

A girl with no morals, and no boundaries. 

I can’t change it, this is who I am. But I can hide it.

And I hide it well.

Maybe its better that way.

Distract people with smiles and looks.

And they’ll never know.

What I really am.

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poetry

She’s gone, forever.

What happened to her brittle heart of glass?

What happened to her lively eyes, as green as grass?

What happened to this girl, who wanted only to be loved?

What happened to me?

Beneath her smile, there lay a thousand graves.

She remembers each and every one of them.

Beneath her laughter, lay billions of them, dying.

She remembers the rhythm of their last breaths.

And her heart is as absent as ever,

Its locked up in a chest forever.

She used to cry when others said their goodbye,

But now, nothing. Nothing at all.

All she wants, is to stimulate her senses,

And she’s never on alert, no defences.

All she is, is an empty carcass of lies,

A little fish trapped in the ocean, 

Watching over the waves slow motion.

Her brittle heart of glass is gone, forever,

And her lively eyes will never be lively again, ever.

She doesn’t want love no more,

She doesn’t want to add another chore.

She’s gone. Forever.

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abuse, blood, dark, Death, eyes of lies, love, love story, short story, suicide

Everything, that never was real.

Do you remember

Her graceful dances to Mozarts tunes on Sunday nights?

And how she led your hands up her thighs after dimming the lights?  

How she spoke in riddles, and playfully twisted her curls,

She was not like any of the other girls.

Do you remember

Her silky black hair flowing down your fingers like sweet water droplets?

Eyes as vibrant as her adventurous soul had always been to you,

And how your were inseperable like waterproof glue?

You loved how she blushed with just the right touch of shyness.

Do you remember? Do you?

Do you remember

(It was the 6th of December,)

How endearingly she smiled at you, but her eyes weren’t the same.

Her pearly teeth were showing, but her eyes, showed pain.

And how she walked away, taking small steps.

Do you remember? Do you?

Do you remember

Watching her stand outside on a Sunday night,

Watching snow fall in the suns fiery light?

Her gaze seemed lost in space, another dimension.

And no matter how hard you tried, you never got her attention.

Do you remember

How, when you put her to sleep,

She would quietly start to weep?

And her tears of pearls were beautiful and divine,

So you ran you fingers down her spine, “are you ok?”- “Its alright, Im fine.”

Do you remember? Of course you do.

Sundays with sweet mozart tunes, slowly slipped away.

And her tears soon faded altogether, with her happiness, day by day.

Her riddles started getting twisted in the dark,

And you stopped taking long walks by the park.

No more kisses on your forehead.

Nothing.

Do you remember

The scene when you came home?

She was naked, abused, and alone.

And blood was dripping from those once so vibrant eyes,

Down her spine.

Nothing about this was beautiful, nor divine.

Her elegant curves hung in harmony on a rope off the sky.

And you asked yourself,

“How could this once so happy creature, want to die?”

A little letter lay in spilled red;

“Im sorry, my love, forget me, I am now dead.

And its not your fault, you couldn’t know,

That my whole life, I was putting on a show.

So, my love, move on, move on. Let me disappear into red tinted snow.”

And its been 5 years, since that fateful day,

When your angel was taken away.

Life never went on, and everything is frozen in time.

Your love, was it really as strong as a dime?

You do remember, but do you want to?

Remember everything about you two, and what you went through?

Maybe its better to join her in the skies,

To be able to stare into her beautiful eyes…

To be able to hear her soothing voice and feel,

Everything, that never was real.

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